A Kind Of Glorious
by pinchofimagination
Summary: Lily Evans was a kind of glorious. Her hair lit up her surroundings, and her eyes caused you to forget about everything for a while. This James Potter reflected as he sat, firewhiskey in hand, regarding the head girl with a strange kind of solitude. But Lily Evans wasn't just a girl; Lily Evans had been the love of his life since he was eleven. Rated M for a couple of f-bombs.


Lily Evans was a kind of glorious. Her hair lit up her surroundings, and her eyes caused you to forget about everything for a while. This James Potter reflected as he sat, firewhiskey in hand, regarding the head girl with a strange kind of solitude. She was still sober, and yet laughed with a certain ease that only came to her when she was either drunk, or when her guard was down. Adam wasn't glued to Lily's arm, which James would never admit, but his smile grew slightly at this thought. Lily's head turned as if her named was called, and made eye contact with James. Raising her glass, she nodded her head, tilting her glass towards the head boy, then turned back to converse with her friends. The simplicity of her action caused a sharp tugging on James' heartstrings, and he downed the rest of his drink in one, shuddering at the burning sensation raging through him. He suddenly had the urge to approach her, to converse with her. Maybe he could make her laugh, or maybe she'd just roll her eyes, but at least she'd be conversing with him. He tried not to chuckle at himself. He was_ James Potter_, and he was pining over a girl. But Lily Evans wasn't just a girl; Lily Evans had been the love of his life since he was eleven.

"You should stop watching her so much." James sighed and turned to his best friend who had joined him on the floor. "You won the match, aren't you supposed to be celebrating?"

"I'm not in the mood, Moony." James glanced at him and sighed heavily. "That fucking girl." James thought back a few hours, back to the corridor from where he saw Lily and Adam enter the empty classroom, his fists clenching as he pressed his ear to the keyhole, hearing Adam tell Lily he loved her. James couldn't hear Lily's response; he fled before the words fell from her lips. He couldn't hear her say that, it would destroy him. "He said he loves her." Remus's eyes opened slightly, as he murmured his surprise. "What if she loves him, Moony? What am I supposed to do then?" Remus stayed silent, and he looked back at Lily. "This is bullshit." Standing up, James looked down at his friend. "Have a good one, Moony." Remus smiled, nodding to him as James approached the girls sat by fire, who all stooped talking once he arrived. "Ladies." Marlene, Amy, Mary and Alice all muttered their hellos, but Lily looked towards the bright flames. "Am I interrupting something?" He asked softly.

"No." Amy told him, at the same time Lily muttered "yes." James nodded, and walked back away from the group, taking his anger out through the clenching of his fists. Someone tried to speak to him, but he completely ignored them, walking up the stairs and into his dorm. "That fucking girl." He whispered as he lay on his bed, hands crossed under his head. He continued to stare at the roof of his bed, his eyes carving patterns in the wood as he breathed heavily. He had no idea of how much time had passed before there was a sound outside the door, and a slight murmur of "shit" which caused his blood to freeze. He didn't move his eyes from his roof as his heart sunk.

"What do you want, Lily?" He sighed, not being bothered enough to wonder whether his tone was offensive; he was tired of pussyfooting around her. He expected Lily to stay in the doorway, but slowly approached the bed, then sat on Sirius's, facing James.

"Have I done something to annoy you, James?" His jaw clenched as she called him James, and he wished she'd be consistent. Instead of answering her question, he asked a different one.

"Did you tell him you love him back?" He heard her gasp sharply.

"How did you know he asked that?"

"Just answer the question, Evans." He finally glanced over at her, his voice tight, then apologised. The two were silent, and James looked back up at the roof of his bed, waiting for her to reply.

"No." She muttered, almost five minutes after. James almost missed it, his head swimming with thoughts, which he was pulled out of with her confession. He clenched his jaw continuously as he tried to keep a straight face.

"Good." The silence fell upon them again, and Lily got to her feet. When James didn't move to stop her, she began the walk over to the door. "Stop." James called out with a sigh, and Lily's hand froze on the door handle. "I'm sorry I'm a bit of a dick, Lily." She couldn't help the smile creeping over her face, and turned back to look at his bed. He had sat up, his legs dangling off the side, arms resting beside him. He looked tired, his face weary and older than it's seventeen years. "I'm just tired."

"You look it." She teased, but James didn't react, his eyes still holding hers in a fierce gaze.

"I wish I wasn't in love with you." He announced quite honestly, and though Lily had known of this, it still took the breath out of her. "I think we could've been quite good friends, really. But I can't be around you without wanting to reach out and touch you, and it's slowly breaking me." Lily couldn't stop the pit that was growing in her stomach, as she walked closer, and perched on the end of Sirius's bed. She wanted to run her fingers across his cheek, not for the first time, and place her lips to the corner of his. But she couldn't.

"I'm sorry." She told him, quite sincerely, but he just laughed.

"You just apologised because I'm in love with you?" She shrugged before replying.

"I guess so." He smirked his crooked grin, and fell back onto his bed.

"You just made me realise again why I love you, Lily Evans." She didn't smile at her words, his tugged on her heart too harshly for her to reply. Instead, she copied his actions, and lay back on Sirius's bed, eyes roaming over the roof. It felt easier when she didn't have to look at him.

"So where do we go from here?" Lily asked softly, her fingers trailing on the quilt under her.

"What do you mean? Lily I've always felt like this, why would anything change?"

"Because I didn't realise how things between us would affect you, I guess. I don't know if I can sit there and be your friend when you're struggling to be mine." Bed springs creaked underneath him, and James pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"No!" He exclaimed, and Lily sat up to look at him. "I still, I mean, Lily I want you in my life, ok? And if you want to be friends, then that's what we'll be, ok?" Lily let these thoughts roam around her head before she replied.

"But-"

"No, Lily. We're friends, ok?" Avoiding his eyes, she nodded softly. James got to his feet and approached her slowly, holding out his hands, and grasping the top of her arms. Before she could react she was on her feet, leaning slowly into James's body. Her own arms automatically wrapped around his torso, and James ran his fingers up and down Lily's back. With each touch Lily shivered, and a rough groan rose from James's throat.

"Friends do this, don't they?" Lily whispered, and James shook as he laughed silently.

"Sure." He sounded carefree, and Lily couldn't help her eyelids from fluttering shut. Lily couldn't shake the feeling that this was right, and that she fit in his arms much better than she did in Adam's arms. Shit._ Adam. _Lily froze in his arms, then shook out of James's arms, refusing to look up at him.

"I should go to bed." She muttered, turning on her heels and striding away.

"Good night, Lily." James whispered softly, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she walked out of the door, trying to push aside thoughts of James, and replacing them with Adam. It didn't work.

James slumped back on his bed, a small smile on his face. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to burn the scent of her in his arms, and the soft curves of her body. There was no denying it; Lily Evans was definitely a kind of glorious.

* * *

A/N: So I had this phrase in my head for while, and wanted to write a little happy something to spoil y'all.

Reviews are spending the day catching up with friends.

Emily:)


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